Can You Hear Me Now?

Although I’m bothered by CD’s, and utterly frustrated with email, the high priest of technological frustration for me has to be the cell phone. It is the single most intrusive, rude, and annoying device that technological advancements have created. Cell phones are everywhere they were intended to be, but also everywhere they shouldn’t be. They now have capabilities that can prove extremely beneficial, but those same options are often corrupted. They work just fine when you want them to, but when you need to get a call through, you are often out of luck. The cell phone is like a gift and a curse.

Ok, so to keep it mad thorough, without cell phones, the chance of verbally connecting with someone who is on a trip thousands of miles away would be far less than it is with cell phones. In fact, the frequency with which a person talks on the phone, while on a trip, has increased astronomically. It is no longer necessary to drop 50¢, plus long distance fees, into a pay phone just to call back home. Cell phones have successfully rid us of the semi-scam “10-10-###” numbers that were becoming so common. And finally, who doesn’t enjoy the fact that when you’re all alone, a friend can “walk” you home while you’re talking to them on your celly?

So, how can a device with so much promise (and that has pretty much replaced the land-line phone in many foreign countries, and is replacing millions and millions here) be so bad?

I think that the simple answer is that cell phones are just too mobile. As a result of their mobility, they become apart of a world that they were never intended to be in. Consider, ten years ago, phones that weren’t in the home were strategically placed as to provide a necessary service without intruding upon the environment it was placed in. There were no pay phones in the classroom; they were off in the corner of a gas station parking lot, or a cubbyhole in the hallway of a building. Office phones were only in offices where they were necessary, not everyone’s back pocket for their convenience. And the next serve at Wimbledon wasn’t interrupted by a “Welcome to Atlanta” ring tone; only the Line Judge and player’s could “phone home.”

I would argue that cell phones, though they have connected us in one fashion, have separated us in many ways. Too many times have I been in deep discussions with a friend, only to have their phone ring right in the middle of the conversation. This wouldn’t be a problem except that the cell phone immediately takes priority; it MUST be answered, no matter how important the discussion was, and no matter how long it’s been since that particular friend and I have spoken. The funny thing is that nine years and three months ago, my friend might have received a similar phone call, but the call would have been picked up by an answering machine that was connected to a landline at my friend’s home. The friend would have gladly returned home and only then handled the phone call. So I just want to know, what makes our phone calls so important today that they must be answered immediately if they could wait until you got home back then?

On top of interrupting lectures, conversations, and the work place, cell phones have found their way into virtually every sacred venue: Churches, exams, weddings, funerals, hospitals, sports events where quiet is necessary (i.e. Tennis), just about everywhere. They can’t be avoided. I often wonder why people even bring their cell phones to these occasions. And if you’re going to bring your cell phone, can’t you at least put it on vibrate?

Many of my friends that have ridden in my car with me might remember that I have a “no cell phone” rule. This is simply because I think it is incredibly rude for you to strike up a conversation in a closed area where I can’t escape your cacophonous exchange. If you’re going to talk on your cell phone, don’t bring the dialogue to me, I didn’t ask to be apart of it. I don’t care to know about your guy problems, or how well you think you did on your last exam.

If you’re in a room full of people watching TV and your phone rings, leave the room. If you don’t, it’s much harder for people to focus on the TV, and any conversations in the room often have to quiet down in order to respect your selfish little discourse. How about you respect everyone else and leave until your conversation is over?

It is my belief that your cell phone should rarely, if ever, ring in the middle of a 1pm class. Why are people calling you during the middle of the day anyhow? Don’t they have a job or class to go to?

There are so many options on cell phones and their usefulness ranges from beneficial to completely pointless. Among them are Palm Pilot features, text messaging, cameras, and now there are even some phones that will record short “movies.” With the exception of saving minutes, it is pointless to continue text-messaging people after you have already established that you both have reception. I’d imagine, due to privacy laws, that camera phones will soon become obsolete, especially since they are already being banned at many public places. And why are you recording a movie on your phone, huh?

Cell phone companies are even getting creative with the plans. Nextel offers a “walkie-talkie” feature, so Sprint begins its “Sprint-to-Sprint” option. Cingular jumps in by offering “rollover” minutes; this way you can salvage all those old minutes from last month that you never got to use. (The irony is, if you need the rollover minutes, you’ll probably never accumulate them, and if you don’t need them, you’ll accumulate thousands.) All of these “do-dads” and gimmicks are a marketing ploy to get you to buy another gadget with options you will NEVER employ.

Cell phones are best when their use mimics that of walkie-talkies. You call someone, you converse, you hang up. All the frills of cell phone technology are just a waste of time.

At the end of the day, cell phones drop way too many calls, often have bad reception, and just don’t provide the same kind of security that a landline does. To compound that, they rudely intrude upon every facet of an otherwise normal life, all while contributing to the frustration that is technology.

-Maelstrom