Where's the Humanity?

In my not so many years, I’ve become increasingly frustrated with the gender group I belong to.  I think that men are too often incredibly insensitive to the struggles of women, and rarely seek to bridge the many chasms that exist between the two.  I guess I shouldn’t be shocked at this since members in whatever majority (i.e. race, gender, and so on) never seem to understand the struggles of those in the minority.  It is great to know that there are a few out there trying to help, but those people are indeed only a few.
 
I’m particularly mad at men right now because I have seen too many instances of direct brutal violence toward women, and have had too many of my female friends inform me that they have been sexually assaulted (one instance is too many, but unfortunately, I’m well aware of more than just one).  One might think that these instances are not that numerous, but I can assure you that there are more instances of brutality against women, as well as rape, than most men ever dreamed.  One might also think that the men committing these crimes are scarce and that they alone are sick individuals, and don’t represent the general male population.  I disagree.  If you walk outside, I’m sure you walk past numerous violators, and I wouldn’t be shocked if you talked to a female abuser everyday.
 
I, being a man, am in a position where I hear how men think (when women aren’t around and men’s wildest thoughts, concerning women, can be aired unencumbered) on a frequent basis.  I understand, in large part, why men think the way they do, but cannot believe that so many men buy into misogynistic representations of society and how women and men should interact.  Saying that I’m astonished at what men often say (including some of my closest friends), and really think, would be a huge understatement.  I’m actually quite outraged.
 
From my vantage point, the two biggest factors that affect the psyche of men are the media (i.e. T/V, movies, the internet), and what boys see at home as they are growing up. 
 
The media is so unforgiving toward women.  I often remark to my friends that in order for a woman to be a newscaster, she has to be incredibly attractive (if you don’t believe me, watch ANY news station during peak news watching hours-7am and 6pm-plus or minus two hours).  For the most part, in order for a woman to be a sportscaster, she has to not only be extremely attractive, but she has to portray herself as a sexualized being (e.g. watch The Best Damn Sports Show Period).  Countless great actresses, that previously had very powerful roles, had to get naked and “do the nasty” on camera before they could garner the coveted Oscar.  In music videos, despite the lyrical skills of the artist, women are often the main dish-served up like ribs at a barbecue. 
 
And if you don’t think these images and representations don’t get into the minds of boys and men everywhere, you are sadly mistaken.  If you think that women are supposed to “Git Down on Tha Flo” when David Banner comes on, then when they don’t, your mental map doesn’t represent the map that reality has given you.  From a psychological standpoint, I’m sure that this causes rage in some men, and indeed may be, from a mental perspective, the cause for many of the atrocities against women.  No one can really tell me otherwise because I have heard too many conversations where men have expressed that they expect their girl to do what the men see women do on T/V, or in movies, and then describe the consequence if they don't. 
 
It has always been my belief that people are merely a reflection of the life that they saw as a child growing up; and that maturity is determined by a person’s ability to either accept or reject the things they saw as a child, and to adjust their map accordingly.  For example, if you witnessed your father beating your mother as a child, then certainly that will have an affect on who you are when you grow up.  But it is your decision whether or not to follow in his footsteps, or to stand up and recognize that what he did was wrong, and to promise yourself not to be like that.
 
If my theory on people is true, then it is no wonder that so many men have twisted views of women, and how they are to be treated (As a side note, I will never profess to understand women.  Women are an incredible enigma to me, and in all my trying, all I’ve become is more confused about them.  However, I write what I write because I can surely recognize injustice, and I think that there is an inherent measuring stick in human beings that knows right from wrong).  Too many boys grow up in abusive homes, and even more grow up not knowing who their father is (in which case the media often becomes the teacher). 
 
I thank God that my father exhibited copious amounts of love toward my mother.  I never saw him raise his hand in anger towards my mom.  I never heard him yell, curse or swear at my mother.  I always saw him treat her with respect.  He, gladly, wasn’t ashamed or afraid to show affection toward my mother in front of me and my three siblings.  I recall one year, on my mother’s birthday, he had gone to great lengths to make her day an awesome one.  And as I recall, he had baked her a cake.  And I remember him standing there, embracing her, and kissing her for a long time, right there in front of all four of us.  In the short few years that I knew him, I learned (by example) how a woman is to be treated.  And (unfortunately for any loser out there that seeks to marry my sister) my sister saw the standard by which all men she ever encounters would be measured.  We need more positive male examples like my father out there.  It is sad, however, that many boys don’t witness anything close to this, and so I can easily see how many of their views towards women are developed.
 
Although the media plays a role, and your home environment certainly makes an impression on your life as a whole, there is zero excuse for such criminal actions.  Just because you may be bigger or stronger than a woman doesn’t mean that you go and rape her.  Who gave you that right?  What makes you think that you can beat another human being for not “obeying” you?  Who do you think that you are? 
 
I think that there are too few male humans and too many bipeds with penises walking around.  A human being wouldn’t slash the throat of someone they say that they love.  A human being wouldn’t steal the innocence of another human being so that their desire for a sexual conquest can be fulfilled.  A human being wouldn’t accept the notion that women should do as they’re told and live under “my” rule (i.e. only go out when “I” let her or only hang out with the people “I” let her hang out with).  A human being would understand that it’s wrong for a woman to get paid twenty cents less than a man for doing the same job.  A human being would understand that a woman is a human being too, and that the way you talk to her and the way you treat her can have a profound impact on the course that her life takes. 

A human being has feelings, compassion, affection.  And none of these nouns are evident in the slanted representations of women in the media, or in the conversations that men carry-on on a daily basis. 

 
This is not my attempt to win the favor of women worldwide; this is not propaganda.  This is the way I think, this is the way I am, and this is a portion of the world as I see it.  Maybe my thoughts stem from the fact that I was raised by my mother for most of my life, or maybe because I am so close to my sister.  In any case, this is what I know:  It’s time for me, and men the world over, to get it together.
 
-Maelstrom