Friday, May 20, 2005

Just Be Nice :-)

Each day I live, I am more and more disenchanted at how apathetic we, as human beings, can often be toward one another. Seriously, whatever happened to truly preferring others over yourself? You don’t necessarily have to move mountains for someone else, but a kind act toward someone (even when they don’t need it) can be a great pick me up for both the giver as well as the receiver.

While writing this, I’m swiftly reminded about a message that a Preacher at Church recently delivered. He was addressing how people have a tendency to talk “past” each other-even the people we love. For instance, we might speak to one another, but the conversation is heavily superficial and thus not edifying. Even with our close friends, we too often discuss the surface issues, while the other party is suffering with something very intense and could use an aural shoulder to lean on. Indeed, most of us could learn to listen more as opposed to spouting from the mouth (Lord knows I could).

Now certainly I wouldn’t be foolish enough to suggest that we should just run out and tell everybody all our problems. I know that we all have our group of people that we trust with confidential issues, and we surely need them. However, when was the last time that you truly expressed deep concern for them or inquired about their aspirations, for their benefit? And every once in a while, it doesn’t hurt to be as concerned for others in your life that you aren’t as close to.

So, I was on my lunch break the other day running errands. I needed to FAX some info to a couple places. I found myself in the local Kinko’s parking lot. While walking inside I noticed a checkbook on the ground of the parking lot. My immediate, seemingly American-apathetically driven, reaction was to just leave it. I mean, “Hey, they’ll come back and find it once they realize its missing…right?” And then I thought, “Well someone else will find it and return it to them.”

Thank God I finally came to my senses and was like “Dude, they might really need that.” So I picked it up. “What to do next?,” I asked myself. Still, I wanted to pass the “responsibility of kindness” on to someone else. I thought, “I’ll give it to the people at Kinko’s to give to these people.” And I guess that was a step in the right direction, but still quite weak.

Finally I got my mind right. I thought to myself “I can return it to these people myself, ‘cause if there’s 1 in 6 Billion people that can be trusted to return their stuff unmolested, it’s me.” (Not to be haughty at all, but just to keep it real.) And honestly, what was it gonna cost me? All I had to do was make a phone call and decide on a meeting place and time; hardly life-altering inconveniences.

I called the number on their checks, left a message (a process that took about 30 seconds), and received a phone call from the owners this morning. We decided on a meeting place after a brief conversation (about 2 minutes) describing what we looked like to each other. I arrived at the rendezvous point and waited there for a couple minutes.

The owners, both husband and wife, showed up. We spoke for less than a minute. The husband explained how he didn’t even know he lost it until I called, and both of them expressed their gratitude. We kindly said goodbye, and that was that.

Amazingly, however, it was among the best interactions I’d had with anyone in a long time even though we were complete strangers. And call me a complete sap (you know, the kind that likes romantic comedies or a guy who saw too many after-school specials), but I honestly felt so great just returning their lost checkbook to them. They didn’t offer me a dime, a candy bar, or even have a card of thanks prepared; all they offered was their extreme gratitude, and that was wholly enough for me.

I felt even better after the rendezvous than I did when I found out that I passed one of my toughest exams (that I’d studied so hard for) just a few days ago. While I was returning to my job after the exchange, I was so cheery that I had to question why that was. I mean, I didn’t gain anything by returning their item to them; so why the glee?

Then I began to ask “When was the last time that I just did something for someone totally for their benefit?” It was the only logical question to ask, because I couldn’t recall the last time I was so happy for gaining absolutely nothing.

I guess that’s my point in writing this blog. There seems to be too much “me” centeredness going on these days and not enough “us” concern. Truly, helping them made me feel great, so I guess I did benefit. And I am heavily ashamed at myself for even entertaining selfish, apathetic notions in the first place.

Clearly there’s not enough selflessness in this world today (I don’t think it’s just me that could be more selfless), because the simple fact that I even noticed how nice it is just to be nice means that I’m not always as nice as I should be. In my opinion, we should be so considerate of others that it’s not a “newsflash” when we are.

In closing, I guess I can just implore who’s ever reading this to not allow apathy towards others to perpetuate in your daily life. Because simply put:

It’s so nice just to be nice!

-Maelstrom

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